Online Dating Profiles - Funny Annoyances

Today's blog is about a few things that really get my goat when looking through women's dating profiles (I haven't really looked through a lot of men's profiles, but they are probably even worse). To kick off, here is an example of one I came across today:

"Hi my names ********, im 29, i enjoy pubbin, clubbin, havin a few drinks lol in wiv the girls wiv the karoke machine, goin to the cinema and cosy nites in wiv a take-away. I lookin for sum1 to hav fun, friendship and possibly more wiv."

I can understand using texting language (txtspk) in mobile phone text messages, but not when you are 'sum1' who is typing 'wiv' a computer keyboard. Also, what is wrong with using "g's" these days - have they been outlawed? Some punctuation would be good and, here's an idea; you're typing this on a computer so why not use a spellchecker?

Dating Profile Photographs:

Photographs are important. I can't believe that I still see profiles that don't have a photograph on them. Would you be tempted to buy something from a shop if you couldn't see it first? It is said that profiles with photographs receive up to 10 times more views than profiles without. You may not be thrilled with your looks (hey, I'm not), but remember that we aren't all attracted to the same kind of people. So don't dismiss your chances.

I mentioned this in an earlier blog post - SMILE!!! There is nothing more off-putting than viewing a photo of someone who looks miserable, bored, constipated, drunk or like they are about to vomit. Do I really want to get to know you if your face says one of those things? No. Just smile and look friendly - it really makes a lot of difference.

When you add photographs to your profile, check the photos before you upload them and try to exclude ones of football pitches, dogs or yesterday's dinner. Also, try to get the photo the right way up and don't pull a face that makes yourself look like an axe murderer.

'About Me' - Text

Don't start off with something like "right then, here goes" or "I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to put here"... *yawn*. Also, don't write things you hate about men or "there must be a decent man out there".

Try to use paragraphing and punctuation that makes the profile easy to read. It is incredibly hard work to sit there and read a massive block of text with no punctuation.

I spotted a profile today where the lady had mentioned that "friendship is like peeing in ur pants...everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth." I'm not too sure about having a warm friendship with her. To make matters worse, in the last line she says that she is going to bed on her own again, adding that she has "only my own farts to put up with". How could anyone resist that!?

Here's another "great" line from a profile: "I'm like marmite u either luv me or hate me" .... hate, hate...

I'm sure I will be adding more to this list in due course...