As part of my 'recovery', I've been saying "yes" to lots of recent invitations. These included a wedding reception over the weekend and a trip to Ladies Day at Plumpton this coming Sunday. I thought that the wedding reception would be a nice, friendly occasion in which to meet and chat to some new people. It turned out to be an enjoyable and interesting evening.
I took a female friend of mine along to Saturday's evening reception and we arrived shortly after the scheduled start time. The evening didn't start off too well. As we walked in, an old work boss was sitting at a table across the room and he waved us across. He isn't someone I particularly like or get on with, so I really wasn't enjoying it. We sat with him for a while, whilst he talked... and talked... and talked. I was beginning to curse my luck, when the canapes came out, which made life a bit more interesting.
We didn't have the usual canapes for this function, oh no. These were mini, traditional favourites like banger and mash (dip), fish and chip, welsh rarebit and jacket potato (all miniature). Great fun, and very pleasant. After devouring our fair share of canapes (or MORE than our fair share, in the case of my friend), I made the decision to go and talk to a few people. So I went across and sat down with an old friend from primary school, that I recognised. That was when the evening started getting a bit more interesting.
An interesting guest to this wedding reception was a well-known local TV presenter. She is very attractive to look at, and she knows it, and you could see the men gawping at her all evening. At one point, she was standing quite near to a bald guy who looked a lot like Harry Hill (it wasn't him). So I was tempted, though didn't find the courage, to go up to her with a camera and say "hi, I would really love to get my photo taken with a famous person..." then pass the camera to her, grab the Harry Hill look-alike and say "Harry, come here a sec...".
What was impressive, was that the brother of the groom went up and started talking to her casually and they chatted for quite a long time. She ended up giving him her phone number (he didn't ask for it). With all of my reading of The Game (the pick-up book by Neil Strauss), I was interested to hear about his technique, so I spoke to him about it later on. I was expecting him to tell me that he had used some kind of cool opening line on her. But he said that he didn't do anything special. He told me that he was thinking about going up to talk to her for a couple of hours before he did. Then he just went up and introduced himself as the brother of the groom - "Hi, I'm x, I'm y's brother". That was it - they just chatted normally from then on. It just shows - if you just act natural and show an interest in the person and talk normally, that really can work.
As a funny side to all that, the friend, that I took with me, managed to accidentally spill white wine on the TV presenter's jacket (which was left on a seat at our table) when her handbag caught on the chair as she walked past it. I was trying to tempt her to drop some wedding cake in the lady's handbag as an 'added extra'...
From the point of view of getting out, meeting and confidently talking to people, the event was a success. It was a great help having a couple of people there that I knew, as I was able to go and sit down at their table and be relaxed with them before introducing myself to the other strangers around them. It would have been more difficult to go and sit down with a table of people who I didn't know at all, and that is a challenge that I am looking to succeed with in future. I also learned something else from that evening - that I don't need to drink to become relaxed. I drove to the event, so I had one glass of champagne when I arrived and was on soft drinks for the rest of the evening. My mind felt clear and I felt confident, without drinking alcohol.
As I mentioned earlier on; this Sunday I am off to Ladies Day at Plumpton Race Course for a friend's 30th birthday. It will be a bigger challenge for me, as the only person I will know will be the birthday boy himself. So this will be a good opportunity for me to meet and talk to new people.
Monday, 14 September 2009
Friday, 11 September 2009
Handy Self-Esteem Test
This evening I tried a self-esteem test on this website. It involved answering 79 quick questions with rating scales from 1 to 5 (you select which applies best). The test took about four or five minutes to complete.
My sense of self-worth: 70 out of 100.
"Your results indicate that your sense of self-worth is fairly healthy. You rarely put yourself down or fall victim to self-depreciating statements. There are certain attitudes and beliefs that have been found to contribute to and "feed" a positive self-image, and you appear to have many of them. Examples would be believing that you deserve to be loved or respected, believing that you’re good enough for someone, and focusing on your good qualities rather than only your perceived faults. While you may not necessarily feel all of these things all of the time, your opinion of yourself is generally quite positive. This is a healthy attitude to have, as a poor sense of self-worth can hold you back from pursuing your goals, cause you unnecessary stress, and even become self-fulfilling prophecies."
Whilst going through some of the questions, I found myself thinking "two months ago, I would have given a much less positive response, but now I feel more positive". So, it felt good - I'm making progress. I am going to repeat this test in 6 months time and see what score I get then.
If you think you may suffer from low self-esteem, give the test a try.
My sense of self-worth: 70 out of 100.
"Your results indicate that your sense of self-worth is fairly healthy. You rarely put yourself down or fall victim to self-depreciating statements. There are certain attitudes and beliefs that have been found to contribute to and "feed" a positive self-image, and you appear to have many of them. Examples would be believing that you deserve to be loved or respected, believing that you’re good enough for someone, and focusing on your good qualities rather than only your perceived faults. While you may not necessarily feel all of these things all of the time, your opinion of yourself is generally quite positive. This is a healthy attitude to have, as a poor sense of self-worth can hold you back from pursuing your goals, cause you unnecessary stress, and even become self-fulfilling prophecies."
Whilst going through some of the questions, I found myself thinking "two months ago, I would have given a much less positive response, but now I feel more positive". So, it felt good - I'm making progress. I am going to repeat this test in 6 months time and see what score I get then.
If you think you may suffer from low self-esteem, give the test a try.
Meditation Class - Week 2
In this week's class, we tried two new meditations and also touched upon what we, as people, can and can't control and how we treat other people.
Our teacher made a very good point to start off with. Meditation is all about relaxing and controlling our own minds. Rather than trying to control the world around us, it is much easier to control our own perceptions of the world. As an example, would we look to lay carpet over the whole world so that we have a nice soft surface to walk on. Or would it be easier for us to just put on a pair of comfortable shoes?
The very reason that I chose to do these meditation classes is to get more control over my thoughts and feelings. Some of the ideas raised made me wonder just how much better we would do at school (and early on in life), and how much more productive and accepting we would be as people, if we learned some methods of controlling our minds, and learned how to appreciate others, early on in life.
Our first meditation involved us getting into a relaxed state and then picturing all of the parts of our body bunched together. Then, one by one, we visualised each body part dissolving away into brilliant light. By the end, we were imagining that we had the outer shell of our body, full of brilliant white light inside - full of positive energy. At first, I found this visualisation quite difficult, but then I began to relax into it and it worked quite well for me. I need to practice these meditation techniques a lot more in order to learn to stop little thoughts coming through to interrupt (as they invariably do when you start off).
The second meditation was a lot harder, and was about us finding our heart chakra - the centre from which love emanates from us. This is located somewhere around the middle of the chest. We had to think about this area, and imagine there was a deep hole there (and focus on it). I was told afterwards that this is one of the trickiest meditations to get the hang of, so I'm guessing we might be trying that one again next week.
After the meditations, the teacher made a very interesting point that I have always believed and try to do myself. So, it is a very apt way to end this blog post. The world would be a much friendlier place if we all learn to focus on the good points that people have. As we get to know people more and more, it becomes natural to start seeing people's faults and to focus on those and become blind to the good parts of their personality. Instead, we should realise that everyone has their faults (that is part of what makes us unique), but the positive elements are far more important!
read about last week's meditation class
Our teacher made a very good point to start off with. Meditation is all about relaxing and controlling our own minds. Rather than trying to control the world around us, it is much easier to control our own perceptions of the world. As an example, would we look to lay carpet over the whole world so that we have a nice soft surface to walk on. Or would it be easier for us to just put on a pair of comfortable shoes?
The very reason that I chose to do these meditation classes is to get more control over my thoughts and feelings. Some of the ideas raised made me wonder just how much better we would do at school (and early on in life), and how much more productive and accepting we would be as people, if we learned some methods of controlling our minds, and learned how to appreciate others, early on in life.
Our first meditation involved us getting into a relaxed state and then picturing all of the parts of our body bunched together. Then, one by one, we visualised each body part dissolving away into brilliant light. By the end, we were imagining that we had the outer shell of our body, full of brilliant white light inside - full of positive energy. At first, I found this visualisation quite difficult, but then I began to relax into it and it worked quite well for me. I need to practice these meditation techniques a lot more in order to learn to stop little thoughts coming through to interrupt (as they invariably do when you start off).
The second meditation was a lot harder, and was about us finding our heart chakra - the centre from which love emanates from us. This is located somewhere around the middle of the chest. We had to think about this area, and imagine there was a deep hole there (and focus on it). I was told afterwards that this is one of the trickiest meditations to get the hang of, so I'm guessing we might be trying that one again next week.
After the meditations, the teacher made a very interesting point that I have always believed and try to do myself. So, it is a very apt way to end this blog post. The world would be a much friendlier place if we all learn to focus on the good points that people have. As we get to know people more and more, it becomes natural to start seeing people's faults and to focus on those and become blind to the good parts of their personality. Instead, we should realise that everyone has their faults (that is part of what makes us unique), but the positive elements are far more important!
read about last week's meditation class
Monday, 7 September 2009
The Return of My Family
Well, Saturday night wasn't great (story here) and Sunday evening wasn't a whole lot easier. My ex-wife, her new boyfriend and my son have just returned from a month away in America. It was difficult being away from my son for such a long period of time so soon after the events of May/June. When I met up with him after they got back, he seemed so different. His vocabulary has got bigger and he has grown taller and has become more independent - all within four weeks.
It has been a very difficult month. We all cope with grief in different ways. So my automatic response to not seeing my son for a month was the same as the way in which I dealt with losing my Dad and my wife splitting up with me. That is to say that I had put them all to the back of my mind - as if I had lost them my wife and son too. I didn't deliberately do it, it was just my coping mechanism. So, as soon as I found out they were back the feelings all came back again. I was really happy to see my son again, but I felt all those feelings of hurt all over again from the split with my wife.
On Sunday evening, we were all invited over to my second family's house (my ex-wife's family) for a family birthday dinner. It was a fun occasion and we all enjoyed ourselves. But it was difficult hearing them talk about their holiday. I felt that I should have been there sharing those experiences with her and seeing my son enjoying himself - six months ago I was! Instead, this strange man was sharing those experiences. There is now a gap in our lives - a period of time that they have memories for that I will never have. Did they have fun all the time - well, no. In chatting to my wife, she said that they also had a fair amount of arguments - that made me feel a bit better.
It wasn't just difficult hearing about the fun that they had. It was hard seeing her again. There are two sides to my ex-wife. One side that I absolutely love - yes, I still do. Then there is the other, more difficult, side - the side that is difficult to live with and emotionally draining. I know we all have different sides to us and we all have things about each other that we like more than others. I'm no exception to that. My point is that the arguments always erupted, and things said and decisions made, when she was in that other mood. Last night, she was showing the side of her that I love. She had just returned from a great time away, so that is the reason for her mood. She was relaxed, not stressed, and was a delight to be around.
It was a hard evening and we both acknowledged that we had missed each other at the end of the evening. I guess evenings like that will become normal after a while.
It has been a very difficult month. We all cope with grief in different ways. So my automatic response to not seeing my son for a month was the same as the way in which I dealt with losing my Dad and my wife splitting up with me. That is to say that I had put them all to the back of my mind - as if I had lost them my wife and son too. I didn't deliberately do it, it was just my coping mechanism. So, as soon as I found out they were back the feelings all came back again. I was really happy to see my son again, but I felt all those feelings of hurt all over again from the split with my wife.
On Sunday evening, we were all invited over to my second family's house (my ex-wife's family) for a family birthday dinner. It was a fun occasion and we all enjoyed ourselves. But it was difficult hearing them talk about their holiday. I felt that I should have been there sharing those experiences with her and seeing my son enjoying himself - six months ago I was! Instead, this strange man was sharing those experiences. There is now a gap in our lives - a period of time that they have memories for that I will never have. Did they have fun all the time - well, no. In chatting to my wife, she said that they also had a fair amount of arguments - that made me feel a bit better.
It wasn't just difficult hearing about the fun that they had. It was hard seeing her again. There are two sides to my ex-wife. One side that I absolutely love - yes, I still do. Then there is the other, more difficult, side - the side that is difficult to live with and emotionally draining. I know we all have different sides to us and we all have things about each other that we like more than others. I'm no exception to that. My point is that the arguments always erupted, and things said and decisions made, when she was in that other mood. Last night, she was showing the side of her that I love. She had just returned from a great time away, so that is the reason for her mood. She was relaxed, not stressed, and was a delight to be around.
It was a hard evening and we both acknowledged that we had missed each other at the end of the evening. I guess evenings like that will become normal after a while.
One Disastrous Pickup Attempt
Last weekend started off fairly well, but went seriously downhill. Saturday evening was a real dent for my confidence. Here is the story...
Over the last month and a half I have been working hard on my confidence and skills with talking to women. I have been reading and learning more about what makes women tick, working on some decent openers and attempting to get over my fears of feeling rejected. However, Saturday night has put my progress back quite a lot. I went out with a friend to a nearby town, one of those that I had slated in my previous blog post location, location, location. It is the best of a bad bunch of places to go out in, without going much further afield.
The evening started off fairly well - some relaxed chat with the owners of a new bar. Then we went to a busy wine bar in the town centre. As I approached the bar, there were a couple of blonde girls ordering cocktails. I felt quite relaxed and in a good mood, so I opened up a chat with one of them, saying "what are they?" and pointing to the drinks. They told me what their drinks were and I followed up with "cool. So, do those count as one of your five-a-day?". The girl nearest to me laughed, and I then said "does that mean that if I have two of those and three boxes of Jaffa Cakes, I've got my five?". At this point, I got my first warning signal. Rather than just laugh, she came back (not wanting to be dominated) by saying "well, the drinks I agree with. But jaffa cakes are just cakes and they are bad for you". My friend then came back from the toilets and, looking most unimpressed with him, they said goodbye and went and sat down.
Now, I should have left it there - they were, to be honest, quite well out of my league and obviously not attracted to me. But part of me wanted to talk some more. This is where the mistakes started to happen. The barman gave my friend and I a couple of free shots. For some stupid reason, I decided to go over and give my free shot to the girl I was talking to and say "here, a contribution towards your 5-a-day... I didn't want to spend too much on you though" (a slight negative, I thought was needed). So I did.
That was mistake number one. Now for mistake number two...
I plucked up the courage to go over and talk to them again (a month and a half ago I would NOT have even thought of doing this). So I picked up my drink and walked over towards their table. I was a bit like a robot - I had thought of what I was going to say, rehearsed it in my mind and was going to go over and say it, no matter what. As I approached, I saw one girl turn to the other (both were slightly drunk) and say "oh no, look out!". At that point, had I been my normal self, I would have stopped and said something like "WHAT? You want me to buy you another drink? What do you think I am?" and walked on by. However, I was in robot mode, so I went and sat down at their table.
One girl was facing completely away from me (not remotely interested in even talking to me). The other was sat across from me. I went with my line - "I've only got a minute, I just wanted to ask you a question... would you sleep with Jesus?". I was waiting for the laugh - there wasn't one. So I carried on with the story "so, picture this, it's the year 25 and you're in Jerusalem in a bar and a guy walks up and sits down next to you. He orders you a water and turns it into wine. Would you sleep with him?". The girl facing me obviously wanted to completely destroy me (she was dressed in the shortest dress possible and had an obvious attitude now - she was wanting attention, but not from me). She said "I'm a Christian, that's really insulting!". Not knowing what to say, I said "ok, well lets talk about something else then!". She said "what if I were to ask if you would you sleep with Buddha?" (that's obviously all her little mind could come up with - bizarre thing to say). So, I answered back "wow, that's really insulting, I'm a Buddhist!". Anyway, the conversation ended with her saying "that question was probably the worst thing you could have said to me!". So I just replied with "well, at least I succeeded with something. Nice talking to you" and left.
I think she had decided, from the moment I sat down, to tear me to shreds. In all honesty, the fact that she responded to my funny line in such a way wasn't the thing that hit me most. It was the reaction as I walked up. As you will know from my posts so far, I hate my looks. So having that reaction to me only re-inforced those inadequacies in my mind. As for her mate, her reaction to me was worse than if I was vermin. At least if I had been a rat sitting on the chair, she would have got up and stood on her chair and shrieked or something.
The evening didn't get any better for me, either. My confidence shattered, we went off to another bar (one of the better ones in town). Not only had those two girls re-located there too (and were busy chatting to the Clooney-esque guys in there), but within 20 mins of being in there the place suddenly filled up with men. One minute I was standing at the bar with a drink and the next minute it was like I was standing in the middle of a dense forest. Not just men, but 6ft 5 tall men, all around. That made me feel even more inadequate.
So, not a good evening. In hindsight, I picked completely the wrong women to talk to. Had I not already spoken to them at the bar, I would not have approached. I think the fact that I had had a couple of drinks meant that I wasn't thinking completely straight - I didn't spot the warning signs of the way that they were sitting and their body language in general. So, this could be a message to me to not drink when I go out. How that will affect my confidence, without having a drink or two? I will have to find out.
I now need to build my confidence back up ready for the wedding reception at the weekend. Lets hope the women there are more friendly - if I can pluck up the courage to talk to them.
Over the last month and a half I have been working hard on my confidence and skills with talking to women. I have been reading and learning more about what makes women tick, working on some decent openers and attempting to get over my fears of feeling rejected. However, Saturday night has put my progress back quite a lot. I went out with a friend to a nearby town, one of those that I had slated in my previous blog post location, location, location. It is the best of a bad bunch of places to go out in, without going much further afield.
The evening started off fairly well - some relaxed chat with the owners of a new bar. Then we went to a busy wine bar in the town centre. As I approached the bar, there were a couple of blonde girls ordering cocktails. I felt quite relaxed and in a good mood, so I opened up a chat with one of them, saying "what are they?" and pointing to the drinks. They told me what their drinks were and I followed up with "cool. So, do those count as one of your five-a-day?". The girl nearest to me laughed, and I then said "does that mean that if I have two of those and three boxes of Jaffa Cakes, I've got my five?". At this point, I got my first warning signal. Rather than just laugh, she came back (not wanting to be dominated) by saying "well, the drinks I agree with. But jaffa cakes are just cakes and they are bad for you". My friend then came back from the toilets and, looking most unimpressed with him, they said goodbye and went and sat down.
That was mistake number one. Now for mistake number two...
I plucked up the courage to go over and talk to them again (a month and a half ago I would NOT have even thought of doing this). So I picked up my drink and walked over towards their table. I was a bit like a robot - I had thought of what I was going to say, rehearsed it in my mind and was going to go over and say it, no matter what. As I approached, I saw one girl turn to the other (both were slightly drunk) and say "oh no, look out!". At that point, had I been my normal self, I would have stopped and said something like "WHAT? You want me to buy you another drink? What do you think I am?" and walked on by. However, I was in robot mode, so I went and sat down at their table.
One girl was facing completely away from me (not remotely interested in even talking to me). The other was sat across from me. I went with my line - "I've only got a minute, I just wanted to ask you a question... would you sleep with Jesus?". I was waiting for the laugh - there wasn't one. So I carried on with the story "so, picture this, it's the year 25 and you're in Jerusalem in a bar and a guy walks up and sits down next to you. He orders you a water and turns it into wine. Would you sleep with him?". The girl facing me obviously wanted to completely destroy me (she was dressed in the shortest dress possible and had an obvious attitude now - she was wanting attention, but not from me). She said "I'm a Christian, that's really insulting!". Not knowing what to say, I said "ok, well lets talk about something else then!". She said "what if I were to ask if you would you sleep with Buddha?" (that's obviously all her little mind could come up with - bizarre thing to say). So, I answered back "wow, that's really insulting, I'm a Buddhist!". Anyway, the conversation ended with her saying "that question was probably the worst thing you could have said to me!". So I just replied with "well, at least I succeeded with something. Nice talking to you" and left.
I think she had decided, from the moment I sat down, to tear me to shreds. In all honesty, the fact that she responded to my funny line in such a way wasn't the thing that hit me most. It was the reaction as I walked up. As you will know from my posts so far, I hate my looks. So having that reaction to me only re-inforced those inadequacies in my mind. As for her mate, her reaction to me was worse than if I was vermin. At least if I had been a rat sitting on the chair, she would have got up and stood on her chair and shrieked or something.
The evening didn't get any better for me, either. My confidence shattered, we went off to another bar (one of the better ones in town). Not only had those two girls re-located there too (and were busy chatting to the Clooney-esque guys in there), but within 20 mins of being in there the place suddenly filled up with men. One minute I was standing at the bar with a drink and the next minute it was like I was standing in the middle of a dense forest. Not just men, but 6ft 5 tall men, all around. That made me feel even more inadequate.
So, not a good evening. In hindsight, I picked completely the wrong women to talk to. Had I not already spoken to them at the bar, I would not have approached. I think the fact that I had had a couple of drinks meant that I wasn't thinking completely straight - I didn't spot the warning signs of the way that they were sitting and their body language in general. So, this could be a message to me to not drink when I go out. How that will affect my confidence, without having a drink or two? I will have to find out.
I now need to build my confidence back up ready for the wedding reception at the weekend. Lets hope the women there are more friendly - if I can pluck up the courage to talk to them.
Friday, 4 September 2009
Meditation Classes
Today, I went along to a meditation class for the first time. In order to get my head straight and my thought processes working more positively for me, to aid my recovery and progression, I decided that it was something I should consider doing. It was slightly nerve-wracking when I arrived and walked into the little room, to be greeted by the faces of seven older ladies. Yes, I was the only man there. The instructor was a nice guy, although he did have a lisp, which meant that when he said I should 'see my breath' I initially thought he was asking me to 'see my breasts' (a very different vision, and quite awkward seeing as I am a man. I wouldn't have wanted to see the breasts of anyone else in the room either).
The first class lasted an hour and involved a discussion about what meditation is and how it can help you to relax in your thought processes and increase the positive feelings from within. We tried two meditations, of about 10 minutes each. The first involved relaxing the body completely and concentrating the mind on the breathing (seeing your breath come in and go out). The second meditation involved the same thing, but this time seeing white light (positive) coming in with the in breath and black smoke (bad vibes) going out. I found it quite easy to get relaxed - my body went numb - but it was quite difficult to get control of my mind completely, to stop other thoughts coming in and interrupting. We were told that, as with most things, this will become natural as we get practiced at it.
So, I am intending to practice this at home alongside my daily NLP methods (positive re-framing) and I will be going back next week to learn some other meditation techniques.
The first class lasted an hour and involved a discussion about what meditation is and how it can help you to relax in your thought processes and increase the positive feelings from within. We tried two meditations, of about 10 minutes each. The first involved relaxing the body completely and concentrating the mind on the breathing (seeing your breath come in and go out). The second meditation involved the same thing, but this time seeing white light (positive) coming in with the in breath and black smoke (bad vibes) going out. I found it quite easy to get relaxed - my body went numb - but it was quite difficult to get control of my mind completely, to stop other thoughts coming in and interrupting. We were told that, as with most things, this will become natural as we get practiced at it.
So, I am intending to practice this at home alongside my daily NLP methods (positive re-framing) and I will be going back next week to learn some other meditation techniques.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Online Dating Profiles - Funny Annoyances
Today's blog is about a few things that really get my goat when looking through women's dating profiles (I haven't really looked through a lot of men's profiles, but they are probably even worse). To kick off, here is an example of one I came across today:
"Hi my names ********, im 29, i enjoy pubbin, clubbin, havin a few drinks lol in wiv the girls wiv the karoke machine, goin to the cinema and cosy nites in wiv a take-away. I lookin for sum1 to hav fun, friendship and possibly more wiv."
I can understand using texting language (txtspk) in mobile phone text messages, but not when you are 'sum1' who is typing 'wiv' a computer keyboard. Also, what is wrong with using "g's" these days - have they been outlawed? Some punctuation would be good and, here's an idea; you're typing this on a computer so why not use a spellchecker?
I mentioned this in an earlier blog post - SMILE!!! There is nothing more off-putting than viewing a photo of someone who looks miserable, bored, constipated, drunk or like they are about to vomit. Do I really want to get to know you if your face says one of those things? No. Just smile and look friendly - it really makes a lot of difference.
When you add photographs to your profile, check the photos before you upload them and try to exclude ones of football pitches, dogs or yesterday's dinner. Also, try to get the photo the right way up and don't pull a face that makes yourself look like an axe murderer.
Try to use paragraphing and punctuation that makes the profile easy to read. It is incredibly hard work to sit there and read a massive block of text with no punctuation.
I spotted a profile today where the lady had mentioned that "friendship is like peeing in ur pants...everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth." I'm not too sure about having a warm friendship with her. To make matters worse, in the last line she says that she is going to bed on her own again, adding that she has "only my own farts to put up with". How could anyone resist that!?
Here's another "great" line from a profile: "I'm like marmite u either luv me or hate me" .... hate, hate...
I'm sure I will be adding more to this list in due course...
"Hi my names ********, im 29, i enjoy pubbin, clubbin, havin a few drinks lol in wiv the girls wiv the karoke machine, goin to the cinema and cosy nites in wiv a take-away. I lookin for sum1 to hav fun, friendship and possibly more wiv."
I can understand using texting language (txtspk) in mobile phone text messages, but not when you are 'sum1' who is typing 'wiv' a computer keyboard. Also, what is wrong with using "g's" these days - have they been outlawed? Some punctuation would be good and, here's an idea; you're typing this on a computer so why not use a spellchecker?
Dating Profile Photographs:
Photographs are important. I can't believe that I still see profiles that don't have a photograph on them. Would you be tempted to buy something from a shop if you couldn't see it first? It is said that profiles with photographs receive up to 10 times more views than profiles without. You may not be thrilled with your looks (hey, I'm not), but remember that we aren't all attracted to the same kind of people. So don't dismiss your chances.I mentioned this in an earlier blog post - SMILE!!! There is nothing more off-putting than viewing a photo of someone who looks miserable, bored, constipated, drunk or like they are about to vomit. Do I really want to get to know you if your face says one of those things? No. Just smile and look friendly - it really makes a lot of difference.
When you add photographs to your profile, check the photos before you upload them and try to exclude ones of football pitches, dogs or yesterday's dinner. Also, try to get the photo the right way up and don't pull a face that makes yourself look like an axe murderer.
'About Me' - Text
Don't start off with something like "right then, here goes" or "I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to put here"... *yawn*. Also, don't write things you hate about men or "there must be a decent man out there".Try to use paragraphing and punctuation that makes the profile easy to read. It is incredibly hard work to sit there and read a massive block of text with no punctuation.
I spotted a profile today where the lady had mentioned that "friendship is like peeing in ur pants...everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth." I'm not too sure about having a warm friendship with her. To make matters worse, in the last line she says that she is going to bed on her own again, adding that she has "only my own farts to put up with". How could anyone resist that!?
Here's another "great" line from a profile: "I'm like marmite u either luv me or hate me" .... hate, hate...
I'm sure I will be adding more to this list in due course...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
