New Beginnings For a Small Fish

I have just come out of a long-term relationship - a relationship that lasted all the way through my 20's, including four years of marriage. The break up of my marriage was difficult, to say the least. At the end of May 2009 our offer on the 'dream' house had been accepted and my father was in hospital awaiting serious heart surgery when I was asked, by my wife, to move out of our family home and back into my parents' flat. Two days after the operation, my father died. So I had to come to terms with the loss of my Dad and the loss of my wife and home. Almost straight away, after moving out, my wife moved another man into the house - a friend who went on to become more than that. This made visits to see my three year old boy especially difficult - I felt like I had been replaced.

Loss is one of the most difficult things anyone will go through. They say that losing someone close is the most stressful thing you can go through in your life. The second most stressful thing is a relationship break-up. The third most stressful thing is moving house - which I have had to do in moving out of our house. So, there is a lot of hurt for me to get over.

So, what is this blog all about? Well, in my early twenties I was never particularly confident around girls. I met my first girlfriend and she went on to become my wife, so I've never really experienced the dating game. However, I have always had the drive to learn and improve and because of this I am very successful in business. I am an Internet entrepreneur and am CEO of an International Internet organisation. So, I'm not a total chump. I'm also a funny guy - I have been told by a few people that I am the funniest guy they know. So, what is the problem? Well, in the looks department I'm no Cruise, and I really struggle with the importance of that.

This blog is here to show the highs and the lows that I experience during my time of learning about, and getting on, the dating ladder AND continuing my recovery from the worst few months of my life. I think it is going to help me in my recovery, whilst at the same time be interesting and entertaining to you. It will also be a blog about my thoughts on people and the interactions that I have with people.

I will be honest, I hate my looks, but I am learning that there is a lot more to being a good man than just looks and if you talk and act the right way, you can achieve success. As I begin my journey, I have read up on various books including The Game by Neil Strauss, How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie and a book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I have also decided to no longer say no to invites for parties, wedding receptions, etc. Instead I am going to use these as an opportunity to get out there, meet interesting women and try some new things out.

So, this blog consists of three main themes, all intertwined:

1. Getting over a series of big losses in my life, and through the continuing battle with depression, in pursuit of finding happiness. Is Miss Right out there?
2. The dating game: getting myself out there and meeting women - how I cope with it, what I learn and the funny stories of success and failure along the way.
3. Striving to improve: realising my strengths and weaknesses in myself and finding ways to improve those in order to better myself and become a more confident person.