tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63086419684603011702011-07-08T03:34:35.962-07:00In June 2009, I lost my father, my wife left me and I hit rock bottom. I'm a 30 year old man who has decided to stop being the victim and get out there. I am going to blog my story from being a genuine but unconfident, lonely guy with low self-esteem, who married his first love, to someone who wants to improve himself and achieve success in the dating game. I will be blogging about what I am reading, what I am trying and the funny stories of success and failure.it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-91791482272491097632009-10-28T10:06:00.000-07:002009-10-28T10:08:36.734-07:00

Tomorrow morning, I leave for a holiday in Japan. I will be there for two weeks visiting my brother and I'm really looking forward to it. However, inside me there are a couple of things that I'm finding a little hard. Firstly, I'm taking my Dad's old camera equipment with me. So, opening it all up to check it over I couldn't help but remember some of the occasions that I went out with him taking

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-54341904165356151182009-10-28T09:47:00.000-07:002009-10-28T09:47:11.308-07:00

Last weekend, I was due to attend the birthday party of my 5 year old Godson. I'm Godfather to 3 children in total. I was using the birthday party, on the Sunday, as my first opportunity to catch up with two of my friends - friends of mine and my ex-wife's for the last 8 years. However, the female friend is my ex-wife's best friend and they go way back. I was asked if I wanted to come along to

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-62302260167067509172009-10-05T09:20:00.000-07:002009-10-05T09:20:00.822-07:00

I've decided to take a gamble. Well, actually, it's more of an educated risk. I went to see my kinesiologist last week. I have seen her about three or four times over the last four months and she has really helped me get over the emotional pain of what has happened to me. The kinesiology that she has tried with me has involved various techniques including some EFT and I have noticed the benefits.

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-29378316649254665832009-10-05T08:38:00.001-07:002009-10-05T08:38:54.449-07:00

Boy, was I nervous on Saturday morning. I haven't felt like that in years - the feeling of nervousness that I can only liken to being about to go into a job interview or big business meeting. I arrived early and walked along to a nearby supermarket for part of the plan that I had concocted. A friend had given me a tip to always arrive on a date with something as a little gift - something

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-26986979538706510482009-10-02T05:19:00.000-07:002009-10-02T05:19:39.116-07:00

After much hard work with the online dating websites, the success appears to be beginning to pay off. I had my first email through match.com earlier this week and, after some emails backwards and forwards, it looks like I'll be heading out tomorrow on my first date for nearly ten years. She seems like a really nice girl and we have a very similar sense of humour. I have some concerns, but that is

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-53873200840063550562009-09-23T08:08:00.000-07:002009-09-23T08:08:48.707-07:00

Yes, I'm not going barmy, today's blog is about comparing how we see people to how we perceive art. This week I visited a local art gallery. I enjoy looking at modern art - I'm more a Tate Modern man than a National Gallery man. The exhibition I viewed this week was about the life's works of a deceased German artist. I walked around the exhibition and I have to admit that I laughed at a couple of

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-25648793745151268782009-09-21T09:03:00.000-07:002009-09-21T09:03:27.501-07:00

Yesterday I attended Ladies Day at a local racecourse for a friend's 30th birthday celebration. This was always going to prove a big test for me, as I would be going along on my own and would only know one person. Things didn't start off too well - I met up with my friend and his other friends on the train and said hi to him. But the seating positions meant that I had to sit down on the next row

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-42907412274428665332009-09-18T15:50:00.000-07:002009-09-18T16:12:29.444-07:00

I'm feeling frustrated. Everyone I talk to who is doing online dating seems to be getting some kind of success from it - I seem to be the exception. Don't get me wrong - I'm really happy for them. I'm just frustrated for myself because I'm trying really hard. Two months ago I added a profile on the free dating website Plenty of Fish. A couple of friends of mine have profiles on there and have

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-58061191983353242142009-09-18T08:25:00.000-07:002009-09-18T08:31:19.148-07:00

When you're feeling a bit down, it's always good to be able to go out and meet up with friends, especially if they know you well and know what you are going through. It can really help cheer you up. The other day, I went out for lunch in my local cafe, run by a couple of friends of mine. I ordered a jacket potato and tuna and they brought me this magnificent food portrait... Needless to say

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-91003779911562286282009-09-14T15:02:00.000-07:002009-09-14T15:05:48.269-07:00

Now and again you receive a comment from someone; an unexpected comment that gives you a real feeling of warmth inside. On Sunday evening, I had one of those moments. My in-laws (my 2nd family) organised a barbecue in the evening and I, as part of the family, was invited over. When I arrived, my wife (should I be calling her my ex-wife yet?) was there with her new guy and with my son. As soon

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-4290311361460222842009-09-14T08:29:00.000-07:002009-09-14T08:31:13.513-07:00

As part of my 'recovery', I've been saying "yes" to lots of recent invitations. These included a wedding reception over the weekend and a trip to Ladies Day at Plumpton this coming Sunday. I thought that the wedding reception would be a nice, friendly occasion in which to meet and chat to some new people. It turned out to be an enjoyable and interesting evening. I took a female friend of mine

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-491170613164829252009-09-11T12:50:00.000-07:002009-09-11T12:54:08.723-07:00

This evening I tried a self-esteem test on this website. It involved answering 79 quick questions with rating scales from 1 to 5 (you select which applies best). The test took about four or five minutes to complete. My sense of self-worth: 70 out of 100. "Your results indicate that your sense of self-worth is fairly healthy. You rarely put yourself down or fall victim to self-depreciating

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-18955464795415128392009-09-11T12:42:00.000-07:002009-09-12T00:53:55.551-07:00

In this week's class, we tried two new meditations and also touched upon what we, as people, can and can't control and how we treat other people. Our teacher made a very good point to start off with. Meditation is all about relaxing and controlling our own minds. Rather than trying to control the world around us, it is much easier to control our own perceptions of the world. As an example,

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-5454429322461552802009-09-07T09:16:00.000-07:002009-09-07T09:29:31.110-07:00

Well, Saturday night wasn't great (story here) and Sunday evening wasn't a whole lot easier. My ex-wife, her new boyfriend and my son have just returned from a month away in America. It was difficult being away from my son for such a long period of time so soon after the events of May/June. When I met up with him after they got back, he seemed so different. His vocabulary has got bigger and he

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-27256401095095977742009-09-07T08:19:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:22:49.960-07:00

Last weekend started off fairly well, but went seriously downhill. Saturday evening was a real dent for my confidence. Here is the story... Over the last month and a half I have been working hard on my confidence and skills with talking to women. I have been reading and learning more about what makes women tick, working on some decent openers and attempting to get over my fears of feeling

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-81040751395845788232009-09-04T09:15:00.000-07:002009-09-04T09:15:29.851-07:00

Today, I went along to a meditation class for the first time. In order to get my head straight and my thought processes working more positively for me, to aid my recovery and progression, I decided that it was something I should consider doing. It was slightly nerve-wracking when I arrived and walked into the little room, to be greeted by the faces of seven older ladies. Yes, I was the only man

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-78428279258624660072009-09-02T08:41:00.001-07:002009-09-03T14:53:48.358-07:00

Today's blog is about a few things that really get my goat when looking through women's dating profiles (I haven't really looked through a lot of men's profiles, but they are probably even worse). To kick off, here is an example of one I came across today: "Hi my names ********, im 29, i enjoy pubbin, clubbin, havin a few drinks lol in wiv the girls wiv the karoke machine, goin to the cinema and

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-32665358282952802512009-08-29T12:13:00.000-07:002009-08-29T12:17:10.144-07:00

After several tearful sessions with my Counsellor, following the 'events of May', she said to me that I should consider putting myself on to an online dating website. In her words, I could "meet a new girl each week and just enjoy chatting and getting out there again". "Yes", I thought, "that would be good". The most horrible thing about splitting up with someone is that feeling of loneliness.

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-28266496402407374712009-08-28T09:16:00.000-07:002009-08-28T10:37:53.626-07:00

Today I am going to blog about the area that I live in. Now that I'm officially 'on the market' again, it is going to be important to find new places and ways to meet interesting women. This is not going to be an easy task. The town in which I reside is an old people's retirement town - the sort of place that in years gone by was a resort for families who wanted to visit the seaside for their

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6308641968460301170.post-27965025070561566112009-08-26T08:33:00.000-07:002009-08-27T04:41:10.049-07:00

I have just come out of a long-term relationship - a relationship that lasted all the way through my 20's, including four years of marriage. The break up of my marriage was difficult, to say the least. At the end of May 2009 our offer on the 'dream' house had been accepted and my father was in hospital awaiting serious heart surgery when I was asked, by my wife, to move out of our family home and

it'saBIGpondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18006620812933448279noreply@blogger.com0